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My Little Angel - Posted by: Marlene, Aug 29,1999 The phone has stopped ringing and we have sent our relatives home. My husband is passed out with complete fatigue. I went back to Ronald McDonald house last night to sleep and he was at the hospital all night, after driving in 2 hours from work to be with her. I was making out a list of who to notify about her funeral and I thought of you guys. I am fairly new to the internet and I always found it interesting how I can have friends who care so much, that I have never met. For this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude, as this board has saved me many of times from frustration and despair. Thank you all. Natalie was so blessed, as you will all be there at her furneral in spirit, as will all the people who tried to help her throughtout her journey. God did answer your prayers and mine. We were all praying she'd get well. Now she is feeling no pain or suffering and I know she is feeling the best she ever has, embraced by all the angels in heaven. I told her she would never be alone, because she is taking a piece of mommy and daddy's heart with her. Needless to say, things changed quickly since the last post. She was doing well until Fri. night and she took a bad turn and her body couldn't recover. The virus was in her blood and was attacking everything in sight.It was out of control. It happened so quick. The docs did everything they could, there is no doubt in my mind she received excellent care. But this virus was so enormous that nothing could stop it. We were able to spend 8 hours saying good bye and our entire family was in her room. She was in my arms when she left this world, with my husband stroking her hair. She felt no pain and actually died with a smile on her face. That says it all. She loved life. I'm in shock so I thought I would write this to you now. I expect to crash tommorrow, when it really hits me. It still doesn't seem real. This is what I'd do every night after she went to bed. Log on to you guys. Maybe that's why I felt such a pull to come back to you tonight. Keep things the same. But soon I will realize that they will never, never, never, be the same. I found some new meds that are in trial for IBD, that are suppose to be less toxic. Also, I still want to post what the homopathic MD recommended.I was so determined to give them a try when she got out. But we ran out of time. I will post it one of these days. I urge you to keep searching for alternatives to immunosuppressants. Mike's mom was right about this. Every child is different, but suppressing the immune system exposes a child and makes them so vulnerable. It's like Natalie had a big open wound that I was constantly trying to keep clean while she wanted to play in the sand. Natalie was never going to settle for the sidelines, she wanted to be in the center ring with her life. I'm not knocking conventional meds, they have worked wonders with Natalie's health. But the immunosuppressants weren't worth her life. God Bless all of your kindness and may your children find good health one day very, very, soon. Marlene |
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